Bachelor Pad

I wrote this in 2006 and posted it on several message boards. Since I now have a Blog, it makes sense to re post it here. Here is the latest version of how to make your home another tool in your dating arsenal.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever gotten a girl back to your place and her attitude towards you immediately changed or she went cold on you? Do you get constant last minute resistance that you have trouble pushing through when you take someone home?

It could be your pad…..

Instead of having a place that works against you or at most is neutral in a woman’s mind, why not make your house one more tool in your PUA repertoire? Done right, it can remove most of her last minute resistance to sex or actually turn her into the sexual aggressor.

If a girl has agreed to come back to your place, you have already played your game well and she is already considering getting intimate with you “sometime”. Her coming over is her opportunity to learn more about you and feeds her hope that you are the guy that will “sweep her off her feet”.

You may have convinced her to come back to your place to cook dinner, watch a movie or do something like smoke hookah but she knows what is up and if she really wanted to smoke hookah, she would have gone to a hookah bar that night of going to your place. You are merely giving her an excuse in her mind to come over and if things “just happen” after that, then lucky you.

However, with society’s brain washing, she will be looking for any excuse not to be seen as easy or to be making a mistake. Also, she will probably be somewhat concerned for her safety. You need a place that makes her feel comfortable and safe. A place where she can see more of your personality and interests. A place that she can project herself into and feel even more committed to being with you.

La Casa de Playa

The key to decorating is to not think like a man. Instead, decorate like a woman and then add a man’s touch.

What do women like?
- Cleanliness
- Bright colors
- Flowers
- Textures
- Contrasts
- Ambience with lighting
- Comfortable places to sit or lie down
- Pleasant smells
- Blankets

Your place should feel lived in – no one feels comfortable hanging out in a museum. (Unless of course it is New York’s Museum of Sex). It does not have to be perfect as women actually like guys to be a bit of a fix-er-up-er however, they don’t want a total project. Having crap all over the place will seem gross to them and it being so clean as to be able to eat off of the floors will seem obsessive or try hard.

It should demonstrate your personality, interests and style. It must be right for your age (no lava lamps for anyone out of college, sorry). It should provide several tools to help you lead her to bed.

The Entrance Way

This is her first impression of your place so make it as positive as possible. Make sure the entry way is clean – no dirt or mud tracks, leaves or grass blown in, etc. Don’t have more than a couple of pairs of your shoes by the door. Having a mirror near the doorway is a great idea as you can do one last check before you leave the house and she can do a quick glance at her hair and makeup when she enters.

Ask her to take off her shoes. This will provide for 4 C’s. Compliance of taking off her shoes. Comfort as she is finally out of those heels. Commitment as she now has committed herself to your home and will have to put her shoes back on to leave. Cleanliness as your place is much cleaner if people aren’t tracking stuff into it.

Also, this is why you never, ever, ever wear white socks unless you are in work out gear. People may not be able to see them in the club or mall, but when you sit down or take your shoes off, you lose points.

The Living Room

This is usually the largest room in the house and where she will probably start her visit so it has the best opportunity to make the biggest impression of you. Make sure you have things on display that are personal to you since your place is a statement about you. Big into cycling? Have picture of Lance Armstrong up. Love to travel? Have pictures or decorations from places you have been. Like tattoos? Get some sexually suggestive tattoo art. Live and breath Pick Up? Put up naked pictures of women you have f-closed. Or, er, maybe don’t do that.

Everything in your living room that isn't furniture should reflect you and your personality or the personality that you are trying to project. You do have a personality, right? Anyway, decorate but don’t be incongruent. You live there – make it mean something and be comfortable to you. You should never have to answer a question about why you have something with “I don’t know, it just looked cool”. They key is to have a story to back up everything in your apartment.

Again, you live in your house – don’t try too hard. However, a girl has to want to sit down too. This means no stains or tears on the couches, the carpet vacuumed up and the place dusted.

First and most importantly, make sure there is a way for you two to sit together. This means a couch, futon, love seat, large chair, or a bean bag that has room for at least two. Furniture made up of only recliners or folding chairs will not help you progress with the girl. Consider getting a comfortable couch that is long enough that you can lay down on. This removes any chance for LMR during a transition from couch to bed

Remember, this is the living room – not the kitchen. Make sure there are no dirty dishes, left over food or empty beer bottles lying around the living room. Unless of course you have a small beer fridge in the living room and if that is the case, you are a lazy bastard.

Make sure there is not much clutter. Less is more as women will try to project themselves onto your place. Allow them some empty space to visualize. Having books, paperwork, etc. lying around or having the walls filled with shelves of collectibles or knick-knacks will make it difficult for her to see any room for herself in your place.

Movie posters are probably expected in a guy’s place by many women however, there are probably better ways to present your personality. However, if you must decorate with posters, stay away from sci-fi, star wars, dragons, etc. Unless of course it is of Princess Leia because she is hot.

Avoid having geeky guy toys lying around or having the place dominated by video games. Lava lamps, disco-balls, stripper poles and all that tacky crap just project shallowness and don’t add anything to the pick up so avoid them. Unless you are trying to pick up strippers and then, by all means, have a stripper pole.

The room should semi-coordinate with colors, textures and/or themes. Rugs and carpets add color and character. Accent pieces and throw pillows help bring the place together. Consider an accent wall or painting the wall colors other than typical off-white. When deciding on colors, consider what you are trying to portray…..fresh and clean? Vibrant and Stimulating? Warm and relaxing? Calm and neutral? Whatever your tastes, it pays to be bold and daring.

Candles, candles, candles. ‘Nuff said. Candles and accent lighting should highlight everything in your place. Remember, lighting is almost as important as color when decorating.

Coffee table books are always good. Books on art, cooking, massage, astrology, photography, aromatherapy, palm reading, sex or anything decorating related are great books to have. And who knows, you might be able to actually learn something from them….

Anything that shows travel is money – shot glass collections, art work from exotic places, jars with sand from various exotic beaches, thimble collections from around the world, what have you…..

If you have a fireplace, either decorate it with logs you haven’t burned yet or fill it with candles or colorful stones. Fireplaces are great focal points for your place.

Plants are great to look at, healthy and show that you can care for something. Get them. If you travel a lot or can kill anything green, consider silk plants. Trust me, they add a lot. Fly trap plants don’t count but lucky bamboo and bonsai trees do and are easy to keep alive.

Fish tanks are cool and provide a conversation piece as long as you keep them clean. “Hey, would you like to meet my pet Beta fish. I named him Master”. Get it? Huh? Try to keep up people…

Do something unique - I have a silk rug with that has a deep red pattern. I found that dried pinto beans have a similar color so I got a nicely shaped vase and filled it with pinto beans and have it on a shelf. Mmmmm….pinto beans. Other people I know have gotten a couple copies of a large black and white photo they have taken. They then tear the two photos into similar pieces and then put the photo back together again with pieces overlapping. It may be hard to visualize but it looks great.

Consider a nice, soft, colorful blanket folded and draped over the back of a chair or couch. Invariably, a female guest will grab it to cover up with while watching TV or hanging out.
Especially since I like my place cool and don't turn the temperature up just because someone is over. It’s a great excuse to join her under the blanket…..

Are you the creative type? Consider making your own artwork. This will help if you are on a budget, too. Drawings, black and white photos, finger painting on the walls, tooth pick figures – whatever your specialty, it will add character and provide something to talk about.

And now onto the big screen TV.....the best use for this is for showing a movie that will set the mood or better yet, for playing music from the digital music channels. You want the focus to be on you while she is there, not the entertaining TV show.

Help! My place has a kitchen!

Kitchens can be the focal point of any home – especially if you have a group over or are throwing a party. Guys aren’t expected by women to do much with their kitchen so if you have yours pimped out, it’s a gold star for Marcus (old Boomerang movie reference).

Your kitchen should be clean. Any dirty glasses, plates, etc. should be in the dish washer or in the sink. The floor should be free of spills, crumbs etc. Actually consider mopping once in while. Or get a maid. And then make her wear a French maid outfit…

Consider painting the walls a light color like yellow. Trust me, it works.

Have some matching pots and pans (stainless steel or the copper look), nice plates, real knives, real silverware and some nice wine glasses. These will go a long way into showing you have class and give the illusion that you can actually cook. Trendy wine glasses are those with very large tops or those without the stem. The stem-less ones are new and chicks love them.

If you are old enough to purchase alcohol, having a stocked bar or wine racks is a big plus. Wine shows sophistication even if you know nothing about wine except how to chug it from the box. Also, offering your HB visitor a drink will go a long way to relaxing her. As Captain Jack says, a drink will provide the woman “plausible deniability”. I like to put wine racks above my kitchen cupboards and wrap them in fake ivy strands. It looks cool and does something with the dead space near your ceiling.

I have a small wine fridge too fully stocked with reds and whites. It always gets a compliment from the women who visit.

Your refrigerator should contain something more than just beer. Consider a bunch of beverages that HBs might want like diet coke or juice and include any mixers to compliment your bar. Consider having a chilled bottle of cheap champagne and orange juice for mimosas in the morning. At a minimum, make sure you have some milk for cereal. Snap, crackle and pop! And get rid of anything old or moldy as this creeps women out.

And speaking of food, you should also have snacks available. I prefer popcorn as it is easy to make, everyone likes it and it is a shared event that allows you to sit next to your HB. Frozen pizzas, frozen appetizer snacks like cheese sticks, jalapeno poppers, etc. are also good. Be sure to have some breakfast munchies like English muffins and maybe some fruit like strawberries, oranges, grapes, etc. to snack on. The HB will love you for it in the morning.

If you can cook or are a foodie, be sure to have plenty of fresh ingredients around so you can impress your HB with some gourmet food or your special dish. You will have them melting in your hand and coming in your mouth in no time.

Displaying cook books is great. I have one about cooking with chocolate and I have yet to have a girl over who didn’t pick it up and open it up. And nope, I have never cooked with chocolate although I want to.

Show some character in your kitchen. Go out and get one of those magnetic word or poetry sets and stick in on your fridge. Be sure to tell them NOT to mess with the poetry set. By the time HB leaves your place in the morning, she will probably have created some naughty saying on your fridge.

And finally, the most important thing you can do with your kitchen is to turn it into a social proof tool. Make sure you personalize your fridge with pictures of you, family and friends. Women will instantly flock to your pictures and ask about them. Pictures of you and attractive female friends on your fridge will give you instant social proof. You can also touch their maternal buttons by having pictures of infant relatives.

An ode to that mirrored ceiling above your bed

[cue 70’s porno music] Bom chica bow wowww

The bedroom….as everyone says on MTV Cribs, is “where the magic happens”. And it can be where the magic happens in your place if you play your cards right.

Some PUAs say that you should have a hook to your bedroom like a movie, video or some funny joke on a computer in your bedroom. Others say that your living room should be very uncomfortable so that you have to sit on your bed. Regardless, for any woman to want to join you in bed, your bedroom needs to be inviting to them.

To quote a saying that I heard (don’t know exact words or author)….”A woman will not sleep in an unmade bed”. This is not only a metaphor for inner game but can be taken literally too. Make your bed. At least do it before you invite someone over or go out sarging. Borrowing the Boy Scout motto – Be Prepared! And clean up the candy bar rappers, empty glasses, etc. lying around.

Do not own a bed smaller than a queen unless you have to. A single or double bed is pretty tight for two (or more if you are lucky) and will not look that inviting.

Thread count is key! Go for at least 300 thread count. Also, thick, heavy blankets help women feel secure. I recommend a nice down comforter which is thick but also soft. Also, remember that women love clean smelling sheets. Wash your sheets regularly and use dryer sheets to give them an inviting smell.

Remember, women "see" colors much better than men do or at least pay attention more. Have a deep, royal red or similar rich color for your bedroom duvet and/or an accent wall. Women will eat this up. What is a duvet you ask? It is a blankie for your blankie. Get one. Preferably in silk.

If your mattress has seen better days (or many lays), consider spending less than $50 for a memory foam cover which will make your bed much more comfortable. Or get a new mattress. Did you know, you can negotiate prices at mattress places? The average car has an 8.5% markup but the average mattress has a 50% markup or more. Yet everyone negotiates car prices and no one does for mattresses. Do your homework and go get a good deal on a mattress. Pillow tops or memory foam tops are comfy stuff.

Pillows – women love them. The more, the merrier. Get some that you enjoy sleeping on and then get some firmer and softer ones. Memory foam and down pillows are key. Get covers for these that provide accent to your bedroom colors. Consider getting a foam posturepedic one that is shaped to support the head and neck because these are popular among many women and may be what the girlie has at home. Remember, you are trying to take away any LMR she might have so it needs to be as comfortable as possible to her.

Candles are always a hit and the bedroom is the most important place for them. On one of my dressers in my bed room, I have three vases (small, medium and large). I have three similar sized candles in each with stones around the base of each candle that match my bedroom furniture. I get lots of compliments.

And finally, you need to have easily accessible condoms, massage oil, heating lubricant, camera, whips, hand cuffs or whatever kinky things you are into near the bed. You don’t want to have to rummage through drawers or run to the bathroom for protection giving her a chance to second guess what she is doing. Plus, men are NOT sexy walking around at full mast.

I have to tinkle

A bathroom horror story... In my pre-pick up community days, a group of us were out and ran into a One-It-Is girl a buddy of mine had. We group of guys planned a scheme to throw a “party” that night to get One-It-Is back to his place and then we were going to conveniently disappear. My buddy’s place was a wreck. He had two desk/chairs like you had in elementary school as his living room furniture and that was all he had for places to sit. He said they were “cool” which is why he got them. He had a penis envy big screen TV and pumpin’ stereo and a fridge full of beer. His dining room was empty and he had a spare bedroom with just a desk in it. There was no artwork anywhere on the walls. His bedroom had aluminum foil over the windows so it was dark, the bed was a water bed and unmade, and there was clothes and crap all over the floor.

In spite of this, the girls stayed and accepted drinks. We were all standing in the kitchen drinking when One-It-Is said she had to use the restroom. She came back from the bathroom and I overheard her whisper to her friend – “This place is disgusting. There were hairs on the toilet and I pulled back his shower curtain and his shower was black with mold. Let’s get out of here”. They girls left before finishing their drink. My buddy lost his One-It-Is over a dirty bathroom. A sad story that could have been easily avoided.

If a girl feels she has to “hover” to pee and use her foot to flush, you are going to lose out. If you do nothing else to your place, make sure you clean your bathroom. This includes the toilet, behind the toilet, the sides of the toilet, underneath the toilet seat, the bowl to remove water stains, the dust from the top of the toilet and the toilet handle itself. Your toilet should glow it is so clean. And while you are at it, get rid of all stains in your tub/shower too.

Contrary to my buddy’s story, your bathroom can be a great tool for demonstrating value. Have lots of colors in the form of shower curtains, artwork, floor matts and hand towels. Make sure they either match or play along a theme (sea shells, etc.)

Make sure you have soap and hand towels in the bathroom. You do wash your hands don’t you? The girl will notice if you don’t have these.

Have a whirlpool tub? Remember to keep bubble bath. You never know when it might come in handy.

Also, girls WILL open your medicine cabinet and snoop. This means, hide any penis enlargement medicine, colon itch cream, etc. They will most likely open other cabinets too and look behind your shower curtain. Trust me, girls do this.

It’s a bathroom. Stinky things happen in there. Make sure you have potpourri, aerosol spray and/or scented candles. This is to save you and her any embarrassment.

Ever been out drinking and destroyed a toilet the next morning. Never realized that Bud Light could smell so bad? Guess what? The same thing happens to girls. And they have to use more toilet paper than you. Help a girl out and make sure there is a plunger available. You don’t want her to be embarrassed in the morning after a crazy night of drinking and sex. Women are already self conscience and will sometimes run water while going to the bathroom. You can get a stylish plunger from Target for $10. Don’t think about it, just do it.

Finally, girls have soft, tender places that men don’t. Make sure you have soft, fluffy toilet paper. Your girl will love you for it. And while you are at it, have an extra roll or two easily accessible in case she runs out.

Trapped in the closet

Guess what? Women are nosy. They will look at your clothes in your closet if given a chance. And hey, why not have a closet that you can show off. Let her see your clothes and provide compliments or suggestions.

Make sure the closet isn’t too cluttered. If you have a lot of crap, get a storage unit. Or go to the Container Store and get some creative storage containers.

In contrast, if the clothes in your closet are organized by color, alphabetized by fabric and spaced ½ inch from each other, you need to be in the military.

Grooming and Wardrobe tangent

How can you be ‘bringing sexy back’ if you are wearing white socks? Please, please, please, do yourself a favor and never wear white socks unless you are in gym shorts working out.

Pick a style – rocker, grunge, metro, etc. and work with it. Experiment if you have to to find something that works for you.

Remember accent pieces – beads, boas, paint finger nails black, bright shirts with texture, cool hats, double watches, jackets, cool belt buckles, etc. This is peacocking and it works.

Be sure to tailor all shirts to fit your body. Why spend $70 or more on a nice shirt that makes you look like crap because it is too long or too baggy? Also, if you are short consider vertical stripes. If you are hefty, consider vertical stripes. It helps.

Be sure that your pants fit your ass. Women WILL look at your ass. Make sure your pants flatter it as much as possible.

If you have hair, get a pimp hair style. Go to a high end hair salon to get a style that works for you. You can then go to cheaper places to get your hair cut once you are styled. If you are follicle-ly challenged, trim your hair so it is really short or shave your head. And while you are shaving, take care of your back, your nose hairs, your ear hairs, your arm pit hairs, trim your chest hairs and “man-scape” down there.

If you use hair products, consider ‘Bed Head’ products. These are effective and smell very good. One of my exes used to call my Bed Head manipulator “Orgasmic” because she liked the smell so much. Every time she came over, she would open it up and smell it.

Shoes you wear should always be in good condition and shined if they are black. Women notice it so do it. To most women, shoes are an addiction and they have many, many pairs. At least wear shoes in good condition when you are with her.

Boxers or briefs? How about a mixture of both – boxer briefs? I can’t remember if it was Playboy or Men’s Health or both, but there was a study done and the majority of women said that they prefer boxer briefs on their men. And stay away from white. If you like a more loose feeling, go with silk boxers.

As seen on ‘Queer Eye for the Strait Guy’, when applying cologne – spray, delay, and walk away. Do one spray at least 30 minutes before meeting anyone so it is not overpowering. Cologne should bring a woman standing close to you in closer. It should not attract someone from across the room.

Use cover up to hide blemishes.

The Seduction

It begins when you are communicating with the girl – either at the bar, the mall, on the phone, etc. You introduce a “hook” to invite them over. Cooking dinner, smoking hookah, meet up before going to gym, seeing your artwork, watching a movie, going to the hot tub, coming for a drink, etc. It just has to be a plausible invite.

Have your place ready to go. If you live at home or have roommates, let them know you are having company over so they can make themselves scarce. Or at least not trash the place while you are gone.

Let the girl walk around and see your place. In my home, women will always comment about my pictures on the wall, look at the chocolate cookbook, ask about the pictures on the fridge and usually look through my books. Let them look around and get comfortable while you are making them a drink. Be sure you have stories for all of your decorations that demonstrate higher value (DHV) or are heart melters (See Capt Jack’s heart melter examples).

Remember, women LOVE sex as much as men if not more. However, they don’t want to seem easy and are told by society that it is wrong. So, introduce sex by having sexual themes in your place. Subtlety is the key.

Below are a couple of tactics I use in my home to my advantage:

I run warm so I like a cool place and since women are often cold, I will offer them a blanket. It is easy to sneak under the blanket with her. Just mention that you are cold too and she will share.

If we are drinking, I say that neither of us will be able to drive so she can stay with me. If we haven’t kissed or anything yet, I will offer up the spare bedroom early in the night. This gives them plausible deniability once again.

If she sits away from me, I will offer up popcorn. I have a bowl from Crate and Barrel that says ‘Popcorn’ on it and pour the popcorn into the bowl. They will think this is cute and we will have to sit next to each other to eat out of the bowl.

My movies are my bedroom hook – they are all stored in my bedroom closet so we have to go through my bedroom to get to them.

I have a small TV and DVD player in bedroom – wanna watch a movie in bed?

Other things to consider are having a play list of music that aids seduction. World music or other soothing songs where the words will not provide a distraction work nicely.

OMG, she is staying over!!!

OK, somehow you have played your cards right and she has agreed to stay over. Or she is too drunk to drive. Or you have caveman-like hit her over the head and she is passed out on your floor. What do you do now?

I usually find there are 3 kinds of sleep overs: 1) you have already slept together or been close enough so that she is already planning on sleeping in your bed - with or without clothes 2) You may have kissed a bit but are still somewhat platonic and you are trying to encourage her to sleep in your bed or 3) there is a group of people over and everyone needs a place to crash.

For option number 1, you just need to have some creature comforts that she might have at her place. She may have brought her own stuff but if not, make sure you can provide an extra tooth brush, facial soap, moisturizer lotion and a towel at the minimum.

For option number 2, many things are going through her mind. Again, she wouldn’t have come over if she couldn’t see herself having sex with you “sometime”. However, depending on how strong your game has been, her anti-slut defense might be kicking in. This can be in the form of many things – she doesn’t want to seem easy, she can’t sleep without her favorite pillow, she doesn’t have a toothbrush, he is going to see me in the morning with my hair and makeup messed up, I am sweaty from dancing earlier and need a shower, etc.

To mitigate any ASD for option 2, have the following things available.
· An extra toothbrush
· Some shorts and a t-shirt she can wear. Preferably loose fitting so they can come off easily later
· A hair dryer, make up remover, some moisturizer like Nivea and some soft towels so she can shower either before bed or in the morning
· Girlie body soap and shampoo. Either purchase or get samples from a nice hotel
· Feminine napkins or tampons. Yup, get them. If you are asked why you have them, either tell them it is for when I have guests over or say my sister left them by accident when she last visited.

For option 3, you have either had a party or used one of my favorite lines. “Want to come back to my place for a drink? Bring your friends, they’re fun!” Now she has less reason to say no to coming over as she has friends to protect her and continuing partying with. You can then sneak off to your bedroom to have fun and it’s your little secret.

However, when it comes time to crash, what are you going to do with her friends?
· Make sure you have a place to crash for her girlfriends. This can be a couch, extra room, air bed, cot, mats for the floor, etc.
· Have plenty of blankets available for everyone
· Have extra toothbrushes for the crew
· Have plenty of nice, soft towels for them to wash their faces
· Provide snacks like English muffins for the morning

If you can successfully host her friends, you are pretty much guaranteed to get whatever you want from your girl.

Seeing Green

Many pick up artsists highly recommend having a jealousy plot line in your home to help get your girl in bed with you. This may very well be a great idea. I find however, that it isn’t within my personality so I lean more towards social proof than jealousy.

Regardless, some easy jealously plotlines can be created with having unused condoms lying around, having 1 woman’s shoe by the door, having a calendar displayed with girls’ names and times written on certain days, having phone numbers in girl’s handwriting on napkins lying around, leaving hair pins or jewelry like a single ear ring near your couch or bed, etc. If the girl asks who these belong to or why you have condoms lying around, you can just shrug.

Something more my style is to use social proof via pictures of me with women. I have these casually displayed on the fridge. Some are truly friends and others are women I have been with but I tell anyone who asks that “this is my good friend Jennifer, isn’t she pretty?”

Another is to have things on display that exes gave you. “Oh, you like that? My ex girlfriend Shannon gave that to me when we were in Vail skiing.” To me, this is less ‘in yo face’ than a straight up jealousy plotline which gives you more freedom to turn a girl into a girlfriend than just a fuck buddy.

But I am on a budget, how do I decorate?

OK, so you haven’t won the lottery or made millions during the internet boom, how do you afford to decorate? Actually, it is easier than you think.

First, consider making your own art. It’s cheap, adds meaning to the stuff you have on display in your home and better demonstrates your personality.

I have my place decorated with black and white photos of pictures I have taken of places I have been (great sunsets, the golden gate, mountains, etc.) If you don't travel much, you can take pictures of things in your local area...the skyline, a famous building, etc. Use some black and white film and have them professionally framed and you are in business.

You can also blow up black and white photos, tear them and then collage them.

Jars full of colored sand, stones, sea shells, beans etc. can add flair and color and don’t cost much.

You can get a blank canvas and paint for less than $30. Paint something abstract with colors that match your house.

Also, waterfall type water gurgling doohickeys run about $50-75 bucks and are really nice for atmosphere.

Remember, candles are cheap and chicks love them. Candles, candles, candles…..

Also, look for local artists. Their art is usually cheap and you help the local economy. How nice of your to support your local starving artists!

Also, don’t forget Ikea, flea markets, or Farmer’s Markets, Ebay, Target, the Salvation Army and Goodwill. These places can have cool decorations and are inexpensive.

And finally, I borrowed this idea off of Mystery’s Lounge, but get a coloring book and crayons and leave it on your coffee table. Instant chick fun!

Other places for decorations are below:
- http://www.overstock.com/
- http://www.firebox.com/
- http://homokaasu.org/rasterbator/
- http://www.vauxx.com/
- http://www.smarthome.com/
- http://www.cribcandy.com/
- http://www.zgallerie.com/
- http://www.storehouse.com/
- http://www.crateandbarrel.com/
- http://www.potterybarn.com/


Hey, look at me. I am a PUA!

OK, this should go without saying but hide your pick up material. No woman wants to feel like they were duped into coming back to your place by some lines you got out of a book. You can try and explain it but why even put yourself in the situation. Again, hide the PUA stuff in a place where a nosy woman won’t find it.

And while you are at it, hide your porn too. However, magazines like Maxim and Playboy are usually big hits with women and introduce a sexual theme.

Hooked by a Hookah

There are many tactics and tricks to getting a woman back to your place. These all come after solid game is played to get her interested in you and with the possibility of sleeping with you in her mind.

Some of these are:

Have a hookah. You can invite them back and use it to pass the smoke from mouth to mouth. I used this to get a first kiss once....I told her the rules were no touching and we passed the smoke back and forth. She eventually cheated

A notable wine bottle or a wine collection. Invite them back for some wine.

Related to this is your bar and “signature drink”. You do have a signature drink that they MUST try don’t you? “I make the best…..you have to come back to my place and try it!”

Have a movie collection or subscribe to Netflix. Inviting someone over for a movie is a staple seduction tactic. Make sure you have more than just war or sci-fi movies. Include some comedy if you need to lighten the mood and scary movies to invoke emotions and desire for protection.

Are you a musician? You can invite them over to hear a new song you learned or wrote.

Cooking or BBQing for them or with them. This is great nesting behavior and usually cheaper than going out to eat. And more fun too.

Your artwork collection and/or your photographs from places you have traveled are great hooks – especially if you have had previous conversations about them.

The hot tub is always a great way to get them over (and into a bikini).

How about a favorite show of her that she missed and you happen to have TIVOd?

Have a stocked bar and full fridge so there is always an after party opportunity at your place.

Magic stuff – If you know magic, keep some playing cards or other props for tricks somewhere in the open so you can wow her and steal money from her purse. Or maybe not.

Oh, you are a dog lover? You have to come over sometime and help me walk Fluffy. You will just love her as she licks your face shortly after she cleaned herself. And OBTW, if you have pets, make sure the pet hair is at a minimum and if you have a cat, make sure the litter box is clean.

I've heard board games are good too. Have some fun trivia ones or go for games you played as a kid like Hungry Hippos, Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, or Operation.

Whatever your story is, anything plausible is good because it will give you something to hype and will provide her an excuse – even when she knows what is going on. She just needs something to tell her friends. “We went back to his place to look at his pictures and have a drink and it just sort of happened”.

I am out off the house and have my goggles on....

When going out, be prepared with a travel pack or overnight bag. It should contain at least the following:

- A full change of clothes (remember your undies). After spending the night at a girl's place, you may want to grab brunch. Or go meetup with another girl for lunch. You don't want to be wearing your smokey, wrinkled club gear....
- Contact solution, hair product, pit, toothbrush, toothpaste, cologne, anything else you use to get ready on a typical day.
- Face soap and fabreze or other odor destroyer. After meeting up with a girl and having her perfume all over you, you want to be able to get rid of her scent before meeting up with your next girl. Fabreze will get it out of your clothes, the face wash will get her scent off your face and neck.
- An extra toothbrush for her (in case you crash at a hotel) and any other simple ammenities you think she might want.
- Condoms. Should go without saying.
- Swim trunks for the hot tub or pool
- Cell phone charger
- Portable mirror to check your hair/face in the car.

Random thoughts by Twitchy. Somebody stop this guy!

These ideas don’t fit into any previous category but will help make your place into a bachelor pad women will want.

Make sure you have a separate room for your exercise equipment or that you can easily hide it. It’s great that you work out but doesn’t add anything to the ambience if you have some big hulking machine in the middle of your living room.

Be a man. Have something manly like a hammer, duct tape or other tools laying around. Women love men who can fix things.

Be a protector. I keep a gun under my bed for protection and because I have no better place for it. I have the butt of it close enough to the edge of the bed that it can be easily grabbed in an emergency. Women will see this and ask what it is and I tell them it is a gun I keep in case of a break in. Women love men to be a protector.

Your bookshelf is like a window right into your personality and girls know it. Every time anyone new comes to my place they always check out my bookshelf. Make sure the books you have are the ones that are congruent with your identity. Also, make sure to read them. It helps. Sexually themed books will always capture a girl’s attention.

Diplomas, awards or achievements are good if displayed properly. Have them in an office area – not displayed prominently in your living room or bedroom.

Props are great too. Consider a guitar in the corner, a motorcycle helmet lying around, a baseball glove and bat – anything that shows you are into something. It will go a long way.

Consider changing your colors for the seasons. Lighter colors work better in the spring and summer, darker colors in the winter and fall. And remember to decorate for the holidays. Don’t forget mistletoe too during Christmas time regardless of your religion. They make Kosher mistletoe too, don’t they?

Quality window coverings such as vertical blinds, wood blinds, colorful curtains, etc. go along way to make your pad show you have class.

“Here is looking at you kid”, and you, and you, and you

OK, so your game is tight and you have several girls calling you daddy and begging to be spanked. You may be perfectly clear with them that there is no commitment and that you are just FBs. However, it will take a special woman to continue seeing you when slapped in the face with evidence that shows you are sleeping with someone other than her.

Here is a checklist of things to watch out for when more than one women are sharing your bed:

Hide any used condoms and wrappers deep in the trash. You don’t want them to be easily seen by anyone opening the trash can lid.

Make sure there are no loose hairs in your bed, on the floor near your bed, on the couch, in the tub, or around the bathroom sink. Either wash the sheets and vacuum right after they leave or keep a tape roller handy to pick up loose hairs.

Do an inspection of your place to look for any souvenirs they left behind like jewelry, hair pins, etc. This includes looking under the cushions of the couch, all end tables and night stands, and just under the edge of the bed.

Hide their toothbrush in a zip lock bag somewhere in your bathroom cabinets. Remember, women can be nosy so don’t just put it in a drawer where other women can find it.

Finally, watch the perfume smell. If her perfume is strong smelling, tell her it makes your nose run and to wear less. Keep Fabreze spray handy. Get some Dryell dry cleaning dryer sheets to remove scent from any duvets or other things not easily washed. Get a scented candle to mask any scents you can’t get rid of or cook something with a powerful smell like popcorn after they leave. Candles from Hillhouse Natural Farms in the small aluminum cans are very strongly scented and work nicely.

It’s Finally Over

Hopefully, this has been a worthwhile read and you got several ideas from it on how to improve your place to help your dating life.

Keep your place relatively clean. Many women are very dirty themselves but your purpose is to not provide them an excuse for ASD or LMR.

Remember, don’t decorate your place like a typical man or like a cheesy player with lava lamps and disco balls. Instead, deck it out like a successful guy with a busy social and sex life.

Women hope that you are their ticket out of a life of boredom and that you are the guy who can sweep them off of their feet. Everyone wants a better life and you should be seen as a guy with class who is their way to trade up. Decorate your place to reflect this.

And finally, remember, if you aren’t having fun doing it, it is not worth it. Don’t take pick up too seriously. Having a life outside of the community will go a long way towards helping you get women and having relationships. There is a reason my screen name is ‘Twitchy’ vs. ‘HBHottieLayer’ - it is because I want to have fun being a pick up artist and don’t want to take this stuff too seriously.

Good luck!