I had the opportunity yesterday to have lunch with a recently engaged woman who is second guessing her decision and then go out for drinks in the evening with 2 married women who are very unhappy in their marriage.
All three women had the same thing to say as to why they were unhappy: Their men weren’t men. All three mentioned that they were the “men” in the relationships and they weren’t attracted to their spouses/fiancé anymore because of it.
The engaged woman told me that her fiancé was kind, sweet, would be a great husband and a wonderful father. However, she is the one that makes all of the decisions and he just goes along with them. He chased her for over a year before she finally gave in and started dating him. When he proposed, she was taken completely off guard and almost said no. Instead she said “Are you serious? Are you serious?” several times before he finally just slipped the ring on her finger. She never actually said yes.
She is now trying to rationalize whether she wants to marry him. She said everything is there in the relationship except for passion. All her friends are encouraging her to go through with it because he is such a great guy however she has her doubts as to whether she wants to. She is going to start going to counseling to work out the decision in her mind. And at the end of lunch, she made it perfectly clear that if I wanted her, she was there for the taking.
Last night, I met up with one of the married women first and her friend joined us later. The first one started talking about how unhappy she is, how her husband (who was her high school sweetheart), just doesn’t try anymore. How he is complacent. How he doesn’t make decisions. How he has become boring and predictable in bed. She mentioned that she was considering an affair and mentioned to me how she gets hit on a lot and may take someone up on it.
After we talked a while, her friend, the other married woman, joined us. We small talked for a while and then I bounced them to one bar and then to another.
As we walked into the second bar, a guy yells out to the second woman from across the patio “Hey, are you with him? If not, get over here!” And she did. It turns out, the guy was a tool but she commented later that she was attracted to his confidence.
She then went into all of the ways she is unhappy with her husband. She said she wears the pants in the family, she pays the bills, she makes the decisions and she initiates sex. She has started going out a lot lately leaving her husband to stay in and watch the kids. Not only does he allow this, he encourages it and told her she should get some new clothes so that she doesn’t wear the same thing every time she goes out.
This woman is hot! For her age and having a few kids, she is a 10. Plus she has a fun, spunky attitude. She point blank asked me that if I was her husband, would I encourage her to go out every night. I told her “hell no”. She said that if her husband put his foot down and demanded she stayed in, she would probably be more attracted to him. Instead, he lets her walk all over him. She mentioned that it wasn’t about attention as her husband gives her plenty of that. It was about being dominant. Being a man.
As I walked them back to their car, the first woman started walking beside me and we ended up holding hands. She drove but her friend said that she would drive back, hopped in the driver’s seat and then got on the phone. This left me standing outside the car with the other one. I locked eyes with her and held her stare. I then reached my hand behind her neck, grabbed a large chunk of hair, firmly pulled it down and then stepped in and bit her neck. She moaned and we started making out. I pushed her roughly against her car and pressed my body firmly against hers. She started moaning, clawing my back and biting my lips and neck.
This continued for a while until our hands started to wander, the whole time people are walking by us and her friend is waiting in the car. Knowing she had to get home to her husband and that her friend was patiently waiting on her, I stop us and pull away. We were both worked up and breathing hard by this point. She tells me if her husband ever did that to her, she would never let him leave the bedroom.
2 comments:
What the women mentioned is the exact things that happened in my marriage. BUT it works both ways. I stopped being a man mainly because I was tired of my wife (and her mother). I shut down emotionally because I was no longer interested in her as anything more than the mother of my kids.
It could be that these men were NEVER that way OR they were that way but have become de-attracted to their women (like I did).
~ CJ ~
There is definitely something to what you said. I lived with a girl for a year and a half. At the end, I could have not cared less about what she did or who she was with. I just wanted her out.
I don't think humans are meant to be monogamous their entire lives without a lot of work and squashing their desires.....
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