What I learned from the pick up community...

I recently posted about why I got into the pick up community. Twitchy's Pleasurable Pursuits: Why did I get involved in the pick up community?

Now that I have been in the community for just over a year, I would like to share some of my observations and lessons learned from being in the community:

I have made some good friends (guy and girls) which to me has been the biggest positive. There are some good guys in the community who are working on improving themselves in a lot of areas of their life, just like me. And just because “a set” didn’t go as I wanted, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a friendly relationship with the woman you met.

A lot of what is taught in the community is just basic human psychology. Do X to get response Y. It is really not that complicated at the root of it. Humans have been mating for thousands of years without books and online communities to assist. Don’t overcomplicate things.

Most guys aren’t social enough. You should be “gaming” men and women everywhere you go. Say hi, make small talk, be social. Greet people in halls, stores, elevators, on the street, etc. Everyone likes to talk about themselves – make small talk and ask a sincere question or two and you would be surprised at what happens. Hell, if nothing else, be like a comedian and test out your stuff at small venues before hitting the main stage.

There are a lot of keyboard jockey’s who are quick to criticize out there. If you have been in this community for over a couple of months and haven’t gotten your wardrobe together and done the newbie challenge of approaching 50 women and learning your sticking points, you are being lazy or not taking this seriously. Unless you can consistently approach women and get some sort of positive response (even if it is just a “hi”), you have absolutely no business critiquing others.

A lot of PUAs really need to see counselors to get over past insecurities or abuses (family, school kids, bullies, etc.). I did.

Guys are competitive. Sometimes overly so. And since they are learning a new skill, they tend to compete. There are too many guys concerned with numbers vs. really learning, improving, and meeting quality women.

There is a lot of gaming other guys in the community. The master PUAs I personally know have it together. But how many of the guru’s are really successful with women vs. successful at selling the next ebook or CD. Some just have a good reputation because they have been endorsed by a big name.

Older women tend to be sexier. They are more confident and know what they want more so than women in their early 20’s.

After getting some of the women I thought I always wanted, I realize I didn’t want them after all. Many physically beautiful women have too many insecurities and create too much drama. I think this is because they have been judged on their looks more than brains or personality their entire lives.

The 3 things I have learned that have helped me the most is the Mystery Method structure of Attract / Comfort / Seduction, learning the indicators of interest women give to men and that logistics can make or break you interaction so you need to proactively manage them.

Sexy is better than hot any day.

Most of the truly quality girls can only be successfully sarged through a social circle. Most women with many options will not take risks with a “random” guy. They don’t need to. They will not risk the danger of going home with a stranger nor will they risk losing status among their friends for being viewed as a “slut”.

I am damn good at getting women to be attracted to me. I probably have been for a while. I just didn’t know the signs to look for. And I didn’t know what to do or have the courage to do anything about it. Until now….

I am a giver. I like relationships. Same night lays don’t hold much interest for me. I prefer to prolong seduction. It’s exciting to truly get to know someone, tease her and have good communication before you ever jump in the sack. It makes sex all that much better when you have a true connection and feel open to communicate what you like and dislike to your partner.

There are waayyyy too many companies out there selling their pick up wares. It can be very distracting. My advice? Pick a method, master it and work pieces of others into your game. I suggest learning the Mystery Method and intersperse David DeAngelo’s Cocky Funny into your game. Get a bootcamp from Sinn or one of the other successful trainers if you need to.

I really don’t want to sleep around anymore. If next girl I had sex with was my wife, as unlikely as that is, it would be wonderful.

There is no opener or routine that is good substitute for confidently walking up to a girl, letting her know you are interested in her and flirting. Confidence is sexy!