A few Saturdays ago I went to an outdoor festival with a couple of buddies and several other guys I didn't know. One of my buddies and I had been to the same festival the night before and it was swarming with hotties. Unfortunately, it was so, so, so damn hot this Saturday that no one was out and we only lasted a couple of hours before we couldn't take it anymore.
We left the festival and rolled to a nearby bar to soak up some cool air conditioning and some cold beer. The place was pretty dead but there was a very hot bartender who had a lot of free time on her hands who was waiting on us.
My buddy Vodka seemed to have caught her attention as she kept giving him eye contact over me. I am always willing to help my buddies out so I didn't try and show him up or hit on her and instead, talked about a girlfriend of mine to disqualify myself and complimented Vodka in front of her at every opportunity.
We hung out there for a few hours and before we left, she started mentioning her myspace page. I have several proven strategies for landing hot bartenders and not one of them involves directly hitting on her so I told Vodka to lay low and let me get her information for him.
I asked her for more details regarding her myspace page and she told me how to find it. It was kind of a "soft close" as she didn't tell me her myspace directly but more of the path to find it. Not great but better than nothing....
We close out our tab and head home. I am very worn out from a long week of work, being in the severe heat for several hours and throwing down a few beers at the bar. However, when I got home, I decided instead of chilling that I was going to go out and push myself to try some new experiences.
There is a strip of bars within walking distance of my house which used to be "the place to be" about 5 years ago but has gone downhill since. I haven't checked out this area since I moved into my new place 6 months ago but with my tired / buzzed state, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity so I wouldn't have to drive. However, I knew I would not be bringing my 'A' game since I was so worn out.
I rolled into the first bar which used to be known for very hot chicks. This time however, I was patted down for weapons and required to pay a cover charge not consistent with this area of town. I decide I am out to experiment so I pay the cover and roll in.
The place is dead. D.E.A.D. dead. I see two women who would have been hot 3 kids ago but the rest of the place is mostly thugs. The tattoo on the face and neck kind of thugs…. I quickly finish my beer and bounce to the next place.
I roll into a somewhat bar / somewhat dance club. In the far corner I see a set of twin black girls. They are obviously models or at least they should be. Guy after guy after guy is hitting on them so I have to obviously be different. I notice that they are talking to a group of guys and I decide that the best way to approach is to open the group.
By the way, I haven't mentioned much about my state. Although I am tired and worn out, I am in good spirits and very pimped out. I am wearing a new shirt and jeans I just purchased in LA that has consistently gotten me many compliments and smiles. All that being said, I was rolling solo which although I don't mind, doesn't put me in the strongest state of mind regarding flirting with girls.
I decide I want company or at least a wing so I text a bi-sexual stripper I know who lives just a few blocks away. She texts back that she would love to see me and will join me soon. I tell her to “holler” when she is coming out and I will let her know which bar I am at on the strip.
I watch the twins a bit longer and realize that one of them is very focused on her group of friends and the other is very much interested in watching the crowd. I deduct that the first one must be in a committed relationship and the other is single. Or at least the second one is much more open to being opened.....
I pick an opening line and approach...one of the guys in the group. He opens and I start talking to him and his buddies. I slowly start working the approachable twin into the conversation but she is being reluctant. She is either very standoffish, not interested in me at all or very shy.
Eventually I eject and head to the back section of the bar where I open a few other groups of girls to entertain myself and get myself into the right frame of mind.
After talking to them for a while, I head back to the twins. Since I have already had a conversation with the one, it is no longer cold but now a warm relationship which from my perspective, is much easier to engage. I give her a side hug and talk to her some more. Again she is being very quiet. I tell my ego that she is just very shy (which she appears to be) and although she is one of the hottest girls I have seen in a long time, I lose interest and move on. A blow out.
I roll into another bar that is packed and playing booty shaking music. Just as I walk in, I see this smoking hot girl who looks and is dressed like a porn star. She is fake in every way (lips, boobs, probably more) but still hot even though I am usually not interested in fake girls. I give her a smile and she smiles back. I continue on my journey to the bar and walk past her. As I walk past, she reaches out and grabs my ass. Seriously! I turn back and fake admonish her and then turn around and continue to the bar.
I order a drink and start talking to the cute bartender. She says she needs a shot. I ask what her favorite is and she says Tuaca. Coincidence! That is mine too! She pours us both one and we slam it. I tell her that was good and I would like another one so she pours us both another one and we slam that one. She doesn’t charge me anything but I give her a big tip and make a lap around the place.
I spy a really attractive, girl-next-door kind of girl not far from me. I am more into her than I am into the over-the-top porn star girl. I go direct and open her. She is receptive and we start a conversation. We talk for a while when a guy comes up and puts his arm around her. I ask how they know each other and he says that he is her fiancé. She denies that they are engaged and they get into an argument. I decide that this scene isn’t for me and start to walk away. She grabs my arm and tells me not to go. I hang for a while as they bicker but the vibe is gone for me so I bolt. Another blow out.
I head back to the porn star. I open her with a comment about her grabbing my ass. In hind sight, this was a very lame way to re-open. I should have opened stronger. She now has this attitude, probably because I was unresponsive to her grabbing my ass so her ego is hurt, and she starts being standoffish and bitchy to me. I am sure that I now seem like any one of the 100 guys who have hit on her tonight and I am not in the mood to push through any walls she has up so I eject. Blow out.
I walk back to the bar and do another shot with the bartender. And another. And another. I am now feeling absolutely NO pain and still find the bartender cute so I tell her we should hang sometime. She agrees and I ask for her number. She tells me she can’t give out her number as her boyfriend checks her phone records and oh by the way, she is pregnant but plans to take car e of it soon. Um yeah…. doing shots, has a boyfriend and is pregnant. I want no part of her so I eject.
As I walk into the next bar, I spot this very tiny, very petite, very cute Asian girl with a sexy nose piercing. I am buzzing and feeling more aggressive than normal so I just open her directly with “you’re very cute!”. She responds and starts talking to me but her friends quickly grab her arm and pull her away from me. I didn’t even realize she was with this big group of girls or I would have tried to win them over before getting so involved in conversation with Asian. I also missed a pick up 101 step by not asking who she was at the bar with. Shame on me. Blow out.
I make a lap around this new bar and open some random groups of guys and girls to entertain myself. I am really not feeling this bar so I bolt and go to another one. It is near closing time by this point so this is my last bar of the night. I order a beer and make a lap to check out the scene. It is a dance club and most everyone seems coupled up. Nothing really catches my attention so I finish my beer and decide to head home.
I walk outside and leaning against the wall outside is this cute redhead. She hollers that “I am gorgeous”. I turn and start talking to her. She is not really my type physically so I am toying with her in a flirty way. She is still cute but I normally am attracted to petite girls – (i.e. size 0 or 2) and she is about a size 6. She is not overweight by any means but a little big boned for my normal type. However, at my age, I now value intelligence, values, drive and sense of humor over 100% looks so I give her a chance.
I ask what she has going for her that would make me interested. She said she is an amazing kisser. Um, OK. A make out ensues and yes, she is an amazing kisser. One of the best actually.
We make out for a bit and then I tell her I need to get home. We exchange numbers and then I walk home. As I am walking home, I booty call the bi-sexual stripper who I had text earlier and who lives nearby. She texts back that she is in for the night so I continue heading home. As I am drifting off to sleep on my couch, my phone starts blowing up from the girl I made out with. Below is our text war:
Girl 2:19 am "Hey"
Twitchy: “Hey sexy, what’s up?”
Girl 2:22 am "Come meet up"
Twitchy: “Nah, been a long week. I am in for the night”
Girl 2:26 am "Lame... wanna smooch u"
Twitchy: “LOL! You are too much!”
Girl 2:30 am "Heyyyyyy come over!"
Twitchy: “Too drunk to drive”
Girl 2:31 am "Okkkk....call me tomorrow"
Twitchy: “Will do. Night!”
Girl 2:33 am "OK....Where you be boo?!? I will come to you"
Twitchy: “I live near the bar where we met”
Girl 2:34 am "Where??? I wanna smooch u!"
Twitchy: “You are such a Dork! Go to bed!”
Girl 2:36 am "I love that U call me dork!!!"
Twitchy: “Dork! Dork! Dork! Go take a cold shower!”
Girl 2:37 am "Love it! Let's meet up"
Twitchy: “Do I need to get you some new batteries for your rabbit?”
Girl 3:16 am "Come over...let's meet up"
Twitchy: “No can do. Night”
Girl 3:50 am "Its cool....call me tomorrow. I would love to hang out"
Twitchy: “Sure”
Girl 3:53 am "We went dancing....the boys were crazy....all over me....come see me! I really wanna smooch u!"
Twitchy: “Zzzzz”
Most guys would have of course taken this girl up on her very obvious desire to get laid. However, she wasn’t exactly my type physically, I really didn’t know her, I can and do get laid anytime and I don’t want to ruin my brand of being a successful, fun, selective guy so I turned her down. Right or wrong, I like to think strategically vs. tactically and am currently writing an ebook about this in much more detail.
Although I got blown out by all of the girls I wanted this night, I am now motivated to succeed. No one is successful every time and now it is my mission to dominate this strip of bars near my house.
Lessons learned:
- When there are just a few hot girls out, I need more demonstrate more value or approach more indirectly to avoid seeming like every other guy who is hitting on them. Their “bitch shields” are high.
- A Wing would definitely help
- Remember, getting blown out can be a good thing. It can save you from wasting time with the wrong girl or the girl who thinks you are the wrong guy.
In reality, there are only 6 possible outcomes to any interaction. You have a lot of influence into which outcome occurs:
1 – Become friends
2 – Get blown out immediately
3 - You eject after disqualifying her
4 - Slow burn and fizzle – you end up losing 30 minutes (or more) of your life
5 – You both have attraction which leads to a small close (number, email, myspace, etc)
6 – You both have attraction and escalate - bounce or insta-date
P.s. I am making progress with the hot bartender from the first bar we went to after the festival. As it turns out, she wasn’t into Vodka after all. I connected with her on myspace and after getting approval from Vodka, I got her phone number (my friends come before any random girl). I am progressing this one slowly mostly because I am very busy right now but also to not seem like every other guy who is aggressively hitting on her and thus chase her away. Hopefully there will be more to report later….
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Welcome back :O :O :O
Post a Comment