The lever

I originally joined the community a year and a half ago after "blowing it" with a girl I was very attracted to and who had told all of her friends she had a crush on me. She invited me out to a birthday party at a strip club. We hung out all night at the club and then went to a house party afterwards. I talked with her all night and gave her a nice big hug goodbye with a promise to call her the next day. I thought we had a great time. However, she never returned any of my calls after that day.

I wasn't hung up on her so it didn't get me down but I was definitely disappointed.

I reflected back on my dating life at that point and realized that although I had dated a lot of great girls, they were all girls who chased me. I rarely got one I was initially interested in. Instead, all of the girls I had pursued had become great "friends" of mine.

So, I went to the bookstore and bought several books about relationships. As I was leaving the store, I saw a book called "The Game" and picked it up. After reading "The Game", I searched on the internet for all of the names of people that Style had written about and subsequently, found the Dallas Lair. I immediately joined and became very active in the community and at improving my dating life.

A few weeks ago, I posted about my dilema with where I am at in regards to the pick up community after a year and a half of self improvement. Below is an excerpt:

Or, since I have met most, if not all of the goals I had when I joined the community two years ago and somewhat established myself and become well known, do I become a semi-professional PUA (I have had a couple of offers to teach)? Or, as I have talked about many times with my usual wing, who has a PHD is psychology and ran a relationship counseling business for many, many years, do we start our own little side business to help guys focusing on the social arts (more than the pick up arts)?

Anyway, I feel I am at a cross road. Do I continue to plod along in the community, dating lots of women but never starting a family? Do I reduce my time or drop out of the community and focus on a relationship (or two) and eventually get married? Or do I drink the potion and go "all in", build a better brand for myself and start teaching what I have learned in the community to others?

After posting this, I had a couple more guys ask me to teach them. They offered to be my guinnea pigs. But, I realized that before I could teach anything, I have to be able to describe what I do and much of what I do has been internalized.

So, over the last couple of weeks, I have done a lot of self analysis and compared what I do to many others in the community whom I know. It was a revelation when I started actually figuring out how to describe it enough to explain it to someone else. Once I did that, I realized where the holes were in my own approach and how what I do is more systemized than I initially had thought.

Anyway, the gist of it is that what the majority of PU companies teach is very tactical. There are some great instructors who can take guys who are afraid to approach women and are used to being rejected and have them quickly getting phone numbers, dates or same night lays. It is very powerful!

- Capt Jack http://captainjackpua.blogspot.com/
- Sinn http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/
- El Topo http://the-red-mole.blogspot.com/

This is a very important skill to have but as I mentioned, it is very tactical. The issue is that is requires YOU and YOUR time for you to have any success.

What I have in place, and actually have had for many, many years, is actually a system and lifestyle that does much of the work for me. It is more of a strategical approach. And what I was missing a year and a half ago was simply the tactical piece.

Now that I have both of these pieces together - tactical and strategic - I have had more dating success than I ever dreamed. And more than almost anyone I know.

And the best part about the system is that it can be dialed up or down as I need. I picture it as a "lever". When I want more dating or relationships with women, I push the lever up and it starts happening. Sure, I still have to go out and meet people but a lot of women start coming after me making my job much easier.

And when work has me tied down, I want to focus more of my time on getting to know just one or a couple of girls or I want to spend my time doing other things, I pull the lever down and it all slows down.

More to come......