Worst Opener ever

Friday night I went to this party that was being held by this Dallas social society I am a member of. It was in a very swank location and the dress was semi-formal. I hung out there for about an hour before the stuffiness of the party got to me.

I like to play dress up now and then but there were a bunch of new people there. It was hot in the venue so several chode guys were outside talking about what kind of car they drive, what they do for a living, how much money they make, etc. I tried to steer the conversation to something more entertaining but couldn't get the guys to break away from trying to impress each other.

I listened to all that I could and then text Sinn to find out if he was out and then handed my ticket stub to the valet. My car shows up and all of the guys turn and stare. One says, "Holy shit!". As I am walking to the car, a really hot girl steps off the curb in front of me to stop me and says "You are beautiful!" as she rubs her hand on my chest. I say thanks and step past her. F#$king $30,000 millionaires and gold diggers!

Moving has been wearing me out and I was pretty tired and probably should have just went home but I decided to meet Sinn out. He was at a pretty popular, casual bar which meant that I was going to be very over-dressed but I rolled anyway.

On the way I text my buddy Vodka and let him know where I was going. He was on a date and decided to bring his date there for a drink.

I show up and Sinn is in set with two girls but Vodka and his date were already there so I hang with them. His date was really fun and I was just enjoying hanging with them and wasn't looking to pick up girls or anything.

I had just a couple of beers and then slammed an energy drink to wake up but was still pretty worn out. I decide it was time to leave but had to piss first so I get in line to the bathroom.

As I am in line, a really hot, tall, brunette walks by me and does a double take at me (sometimes it pays to be dressed up). I just smile at her and don't open her. She slows her pace and walks just a few feet away from me and stops and lingers. There was absolutely no reason for her to stop in that particular location so it was pretty obvious that she wanted me to talk to her.

However, for me to talk to her, I would have to sacrifice my place in line and walk over to her and due to the fullness of my bladder, that was not happening.

I continue to smile at her as we lock eyes. She moves a couple of steps closer to me and still I make no attempt to talk to her but instead just keep smiling and staring into her eyes.

She comes a couple of steps closer. She is now close enough where I could open her if I wanted but decide I am going to keep playing this game.

We keep our eyes locked on each other for a very awkward amount of time. However, I don't look away and neither did she.

Finally, she decided she had had enough and opens me. Now, you would expect a really hot girl to know just exactly what to say in a situation like this, right? She has probably been opened several times a day every day of her life since she hit puberty. She has probably heard every pick up line imaginable. She has probably crushed countless guy's lame attempts at picking her up. She would know precisely the exact words to say to a man she wants, right?

"How 'bout them Cowboys?" was her insightful, inspiring opening line. I tell her I don't know, I am a Packers fan but thanks for bringing it up and back turn her (Cowboys beat the Packers Thursday night). I think it left her speechless. I am not a huge sports fan but wanted her to continue chasing me.

She pauses for a moment and then steps around so that she is facing me again and just stands there expecting me to say something. I just continue to look at her until she says "Sorry, I was just trying to start conversation". I tell her "I know, no worries, I will come find you when I get back from the bathroom".

I find her later and introduce myself. I tease her about her sweater and then tell her I need to leave. She asks for my name and I tell her and then hand her a business card. I tell her she seems like she is fun and she should call me sometime. I then ask for her name, she tells me and we shake hands. I then pull her into me and give her a quick kiss on the lips and then turn away and leave.

Sunday night I get a text from her "Hi, we met @ X bar on Friday. Remember me? I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime"

Even hot girls don't always have game.